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mirz333

Wandering the Wasteland
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(Cross-posted with @mirz123)


I hate to be reactionary, and since I do not want to accuse anyone who may have been sincere, I will not name-names. However, I was recently approached by someone who stated they wanted me to be their muse and use my @mirz333 gallery as inspiration for a commission they were working on and would pay me. I said, "sure, but no payment required." However, it did not stop there. This person then seemingly ignored what I had said and stated we were in a "collaboration" and wanted me to accept a check payment for the commission -- wherein I would take my cut, then forward the difference to the artist. They then asked for my bank information and my mailing address. (They were also very insistent when I didn't answer their messages right away.)


As @ravenswd said, a new spin on an old scam.


A warning, NEVER give out your mailing address to a stranger. And certainly NEVER give out your banking information. There are secure ways to pay and get paid online, through Paypal and other services. I personally have commissioned hundreds of artists over the years and paid money to them (as well as receiving payment for a few commissions I did for others) and rarely had an issue. However, it was always secure transactions and never anything where I had to share personal information.


I should note, I have shared my mailing address with people who became my friends and we exchanged cards and art-gifts. However, never to anyone I hadn't gotten to know first, and certainly not anyone I had just met.


With respect to this artist -- I was worried at first that I would offend the person. I understand the situation may have been legitimate, which is why I was not nasty about it. I explained the situation and why I was doing what I did. However, never take a chance and do something risky for the sake of not-hurting-someone's-feelings.


For anyone who knows me knows that I used to be uber-active on DA and it was due to a scam wherein someone approached me about interest in my fiction series, that I fled the internet for years. The "interest" turned out to be a scam, and the fall-out was so bad I ended up deleting most of my online accounts. Granted, back then my situation was a bit more complicated, as I was in emotional and financial dire-straits -- dealing with my mother's cancer and losing my house in foreclosure -- and was easy pickings for a scammer. Still, these people target anyone under any circumstances.


So, breaking my semi-sabbatical for this PSA. It's a scary world. Keep safe and protect yourself.

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Liberation

1 min read

There is great freedom discovering that what you think you need is in fact what you can live without. A shattered heart mends. I have changed my cover picture to reflect my mood. Things are not good, but people keep telling me I seem more at peace and happier. I guess I am -- at least a little. Still need to pick up the pieces in several spots in my life, but finally feel it is all going to be okay. (Psst, this is not about @ravenswd.)

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*** Cross-posted with Mirz123 ***


Today is the first day of my leap of faith. Today is the end of an era.


I recently left my job of 5 years. A job that consumed so much of my time – I often worked 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day – that I had lost myself. When I made a few stamps recently, my daughter said, “Mom, you used to do this all the time.” She was right.


I loved my job. I loved that I was able to help so many people. However, as many companies do, they started to move towards a more impersonal, money-oriented business model. Granted, they have every right to. I don’t ding them for that, it costs a lot to keep the lights on. But I have too much of a heart, and in corporate America, having a heart is a liability.


Anyhow, this was the job I had started after losing my house in foreclosure, when we literally had to leave 90% of what we owned behind and move to a city 200 miles away where we knew no one. I appreciated the opportunity, but it was a forced move – I had hoped to be at my former job until I retired. So, when I recently turned in my resignation, I could hear a door close. I felt that the nightmare was finally ending. A nightmare that lasted 10+ years – starting with the loss of my art and online identity (the wiping of my DA accounts), my life (my house and job of 25 years), and my dearest friends (Alicia and those I was forced to leave IRL and on DA). The fall-out was finally coming to an end.


A week ago, I pulled up When Worlds Collide 2, the collab I wrote with Endorell-Taelos. For the first time in many years, I had the desire to write. An authentic desire to finish that story. I have also been drawing. I do a daily sketch dump which has given me a lot of joy.


When doors close, others open. I do not have a job; I left without one. With the current staffing shortage, I don’t believe I will have trouble finding something, but it is still scary. Though, for once in my life I am taking a moment for me. Today was the first Saturday I have slept-in for years -- I worked on Saturdays 90% of the time. Today was the first time I didn’t worry about a stack sitting on my desk, feeling guilty I was not there tackling it. Today was the first time in a long time I felt like myself. Today was the first time in a long time I felt alive.


I have had a lot of false starts, coming back to DA, then leaving a minute later. I apologize. This past 12 years have been one living hell. But for the first time, I feel that things are finally going to be all right. I feel the worst is over. I feel relief.


Someone recently talked about re-booting in a real world context. That is what I feel this is. I am rebooting my life. I spent so much time working, I feared I wouldn’t know what to do with my time. I realize that I need to go back to the things I love, the person inside of me that I lost due to the stress of losing everything in the real world. I need to reboot my art and my writing, and trust that things will fall into place.


In the final months of my job, I was a wreck due to being overwhelmed, and I dropped the ball. Most of that was due to a staff shortage and having to juggle too many balls by myself, but mistakes are still mistakes. I have learned from them, and as I eventually find a new job, I know things will be better for me in that regard, too. I know things will fall into place.


Today, I feel the shackles have been broken. Today, I feel free.


I have talked about Sunflowers and Revolution. Figuratively, of course. Not so much a revolution in the French Revolution sense, but in a personal sense. (I should mention to ThreshTheSky I recently watched Les Miserables for the first time and loved it; I thought of him the whole time). I am talking about self-revolution, looking deep inside and changing how we see things, how we react, and where we are going. So, if you see sunflowers decorating my pages, know that at age 53 (in a few days), I am still trying to figure out who I am and trying to become the best me that I can. Follow the Sun, Follow the Truth. Meaning being authentic and true to who we are -- being honest with ourselves about what is going on around us.


I recently watched Joaquin Phoenix’s acceptance speech for his role in Joker. I was so touched; I felt I could have spoken it myself. Particularly with my growing journey towards full veganism. The main part of his speech was how, as humans, we are at our best helping each other. That touched me most. I still get emails to this day from kids – now adults – whom I supported here on DA and remember me. Who have gone on to make careers in art fields. That makes me so happy. That is what life is about, and what I need to get back to.


Again, I thank you all for your support. At one time I was a mini-legend on this site. That was stripped from me. But sometimes it is only after we lose everything that we are free to do anything (nods to Fight Club for that quote). I am the Phoenix, rising from the ashes. I do not know what the future holds, but I know it is out there waiting for me.


Oh, and by-the-way, I had heard some rumors that people thought Ravenwood and I were having marital problems. I can gladly say that is false. We will be married 30 years come January. He is the love of my life, my art partner and my life partner. I hope he will get active again with me. Thankfully, he has been busy writing while I was on this forced sabbatical. I look forward to all of you reading his recent solo works, which I think are great.


I am sorry this was so long. I know most of you don’t like reading long diatribes. But I hope you will forgive me. Thank you for taking the time to keep up with me, and hopefully support me during my true comeback.


Much affection always.


P.S. I want to send a thank-you to my 2 guardian angels. I know what you did for me, and I can only say I owe you the world. We have never formally met -- though I know we have seen each other -- but I am confident we will have a chat over coffee someday. Until then, when I say I owe you my life, I mean it. <3

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Doing some work on my Chasers Series. Since I need to reference these, re-posting a couple of old commissions:


Queen




Espa and the Queen


From my Chaser's story. Espa is a tyrannical leader who falls in love with the queen. He doesn't care that she is married, he just enslaves her. LOL. Good times.


Art by @jen-and-kris













Beth




Beth Araden


An flight-instructor, Beth follows in her father's footsteps as leader of a rebel movement. Yeah, Chasers first started as a Star War fan-fic, but is so so much different now.


Art by @cristianaleone

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Goodbyes

8 min read
A week has passed since Alicia / Endorell-Taelos's passing. And while the tears don't fall quite as often, they still come, and the hole in my heart is bigger than ever. I have been quite the introvert these last few years due to life events which have thrown me into a deep depression. Since I am not the type to burden anyone with my problems, I chose to distance myself from most people. Alicia was special in that she understood the darkness I was struggling with as she lived with it herself, and it truly was a blessing to have someone in my life whom I could talk with, who could understand what I was going through, and never got tired, upset, or frustrated as I shared my woes. Her parting leaves such a chasm in my soul...

LadyLincoln posted a DA memorial for Alicia -- and did a far better job than I ever could; I sincerely love and thank her for her efforts. :heart: With that in mind, I know many of Alicia's well-known pieces and loves have been shared. I thought it might be nice if I showed off some of the lesser-known things that brought Alicia an incredible amount of joy.



Alicia loved K-Pop (anything South Korean, really). One of her all-time favorite groups was VIXX, and she was always quick to share their latest album with me. As a gift for her birthday, I commissioned a piece from PeculiarDork featuring the group. I will forever be grateful to her for introducing me to Leo and the boys.




To that end, Alicia toyed with re-imagining her story world of Loreithia with an Asian-esque twist. She loved the idea of Luciana coming from that culture. She also toyed with having Luciana sport white hair instead of her black tresses (at least temporarily): 



Art by Nikranel


When she was younger, Alicia loved to dance and aspired to be a singer. Her life circumstances and disability did not allow her to pursue that dream, but it was something she talked about often. She particularly loved Irish dancing, and had Luciana take it up in an alternate version.



Life has a way of marching on and changing. In times past, I was blessed to be active on the site with Alicia, along with our dear friend CristianaLeone. We worked on many collaborations together, and ran the 3 Worlds Fairytale Contest, one of Alicia's favorites. This piece was a bit of a dedication to our friendship, which Alicia cherished (each of us is represented by our characters Sara, Ria, and Luciana).

Commission - Best friends forever by LiberLibelula

Alicia loved to role-play, and that is actually what got her started as a writer. Many of the people who played with her commented on her lovely prose and encouraged her to start formally authoring her stories. Here is a commission she purchased based on one of our role-plays. She adored vampires, and this one features her Luciana with my vampire, Vincent:


Luciana, Vincent and Sara for Endorell-Taelos by Djinngin

It is no secret that When Worlds Collide was her pride writing-wise. During the course of the story, Alicia suggested we commission some art to inspire us. She loved to commission art, and was truly my "partner-in-crime" when it came to commissions. I met so many artists through her. This was the first piece we commissioned together (and one of my all-time favorites). It also introduced me to the lovely fee-absinthe, whom I worked with many times after:


Commission: When Worlds Collide by fee-absinthe


Alicia's favorite scene in the WWC saga was also one of her favorite personal pieces of writing. It was a scene she had envisioned for years, and it tickled her pink to finally be able to put it down on paper and see it come together in a story. She commissioned a comic page to visually showcase the scene, and it was one of her top-10 favorite pieces:

Commission: The Sacrifice by SerenaVerdeArt

While WWC was her crowning moment on DA, I believe her most beloved writing piece was her tale of a kitten, and the piece that gave her the title of "published author." She was so proud. You can learn more details, and where to purchase the book, in the notes of the deviation:






While I had dabbled in photo-manipulation before, Alicia is the one who encouraged me to delve deeper into it. She was always like that, so supportive and eager to share her knowledge. I am eternally grateful for that. Here is a piece I created for her -- one of my best manip works. It also features another one of her loves, dragons. Specifically, her beloved character Taelos (tay-loss), whom she referenced eternally in her username:





Alicia was vocal to many about how much she missed her mother, who died when she was a young adult. Her character, Kaliya, was based heavily on her mother, even down to her long curly blonde hair. This was another one of her favorite commissions:

A Mother's Embrace by Saimain


And while I could never feature all of her favorite pieces, I will leave you with a few that stick out in my mind:

Luciana and Kaliya by meago     The young Empress by Isbjorg   Luciana and Taelos by Gnewi  D.C: Endorell-Taelos colour by dire-musaera   Endorell-Taelos : commission by chutsketch  



I am forever grateful for having known Alicia. I will miss her for always.
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